My 2 Page Self Help Book

On the advice of Mr. James Altucher, I am writing and publishing my own, free, self-help book. This book contains advice, quotes, statements, and occasional anecdotes that I have come across and been told over the last 29 years of being a fly on the wall socially.

Some of these are, to the best of my knowledge, original. Unfortunately over the years I have lost track of which are originals and which are taken from others. Therefore, I am stating up front that very few of these quotes are original text and ideas. Those items for which I do recall the source I will acknowledge. As I am not selling this or claiming any specific part is original, I am hoping I’m not committing plagiarism.

So begins the advice . . .

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Okay, I’m pretty sure this one came from the bible, and its application is universal whether or not you’re religious. It should be the single most basic principle every person tries to live by daily. It should be taught all through school and at home. It’s very simple: before you do something, ask how it would make you feel if somebody did it to you. Some things you still have to do (breaking up with a person who is wrong for you) but this will at least get you thinking about a less hurtful way.

Eliminate the impossible. Whatever remains however unlikely must be the truth

This was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle through Sherlock Holmes. One of my all-time favorite statements and one which I far prefer to Occam’s razor. Sometimes a lie can appear much simpler than a complicated truth and you must train yourself to be aware of both.

No matter how bad it seems, it could be worse

This sounds way more pessimistic than it actually is. It’s really supposed to be a reminder that your problems are rarely as bad as they seem, and you need to keep things in perspective. By remembering that there are people much worse off than you are.

Life is 20% what happens to you, and 80% how you react

Ever notice how some people out there always walk around with a smile and seem to be in a good mood? It almost seems as if life always goes their way? Well, you aren’t far from the truth. You might not be able to control everything that happens to you, so you control how you respond. Remember, positivity attracts positivity.

Change is hard, right? WRONG!! CHANGE IS EASY, YOU SUCK!!

A brilliant gem from the writers of the Simpsons. This goes back to the last statement in a lot of ways. People fear change because they’re afraid of losing what they already have. Think about this though: all those things you’re worried about losing, how did you get them? You changed something in your life that caused you to get those things. Styled your hair differently and attracted a mate. Improved a skill and got a better job. What does this tell you? Change isn’t bad. Not changing means you’ll get stagnant, and your mind will atrophy.

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere

This is from Van Wilder. It’s a great thing to say to yourself when you start to fret over things. After saying this, ask yourself “Is there anything I can do about X”, X being that problem that was worrying you. If the answer is no, stop worrying. What will happen will happen. If the answer is yes, stop worrying and do something. Then when you’ve done that, ask yourself the question again. Keep asking until the answer is no. Then in the end you can say to yourself “I did everything I could. I will never be able to look back and say ‘if only I had . . . ‘”. Then you can start to live with no regrets, and you’ll discover that is the only life worth living!

Perspective changes perception

Have you ever noticed how two people can be looking at the exact same thing, and see two completely different things? It’s a crucial part of most therapy. Rorschach tests are some of the better known examples, and there are many optical illusions that do the same thing. Well, it doesn’t just happen there, it happens with everyday situations. Go people watching with a friend sometime. Look at the people around you and try to figure out what they’re doing, saying, or talking about. I’m willing to bet that the two of you will come up with two completely different backstories. That’s because you’re each bringing your own life stories and (here it comes) perspective to the situation!

We all need to be mocked from time to time, lest we take ourselves too seriously

This one is courtesy of George R.R. Martin through Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones. Mockery by those who mean no true harm by it can be truly be one of the greatest things a friend can do for another friend. It helps keep us all in check, and keeps our egos from getting too big. I’m willing to bet that most people who others can’t stand to be around simply didn’t get the proper mocking growing up. And this leads me into the single most important piece of advice here (except the first one of course):

Get over yourself

You’re not that big of a deal, and people don’t care about what you do as much as you like to think. So get over yourself and get on with life!

How do you get over yourself? Do something twice a week that breaks your normal pattern. Wear an outfit that you definitely CAN’T pull off, and wear it proudly. Be seen in it! If you don’t want to do it in your own city, take a drive to a city an hour or two away. You’ll never see the people there again, so why care what they think about you? Visit a place you never thought you’d want to go to. Buy a round of drinks for complete strangers. Browse Groupon and Living Social for deals on things you wouldn’t think you’d do, and do them! It’s only a few dollars, and there’s always more money to be made.

Money is a means, not an end

Any person who thinks of money in and of itself as a goal will die miserably. You can’t think of money as a goal, money is merely a tool to help you achieve goals. It’s true, money doesn’t buy happiness. It’s also true you don’t need money to be happy. Money is used to help us in things that will bring us happiness though. Simple things like saving up to take a trip with friends or to make sure your family is provided for. Even something as simple as buying a round of drinks. Seeing your friends’ happiness should bring you happiness. Remember, money is a means to help you achieve your goals. It should not be your goal. So spend freely! The person who dies with the most doesn’t win.

Strive to disappoint those that expect you to fail

I don't think this needs any explanation . . .

Sometimes in order for a human being to change you have to change from the outside in

Steve Martin said this in My Blue Heaven. Change isn't easy, especially changing something to do with your habits or personality. Sometimes it's easier to change something physical about yourself. Get a different haircut, wear a different style, buy an accessory (hat for example) that becomes a trademark for you. Even something as simple as make the effort to smile, whether or not you feel like it. People will see the smile and smile back, and that will make you feel better. Therefore, a change on the outside creates a change on the inside.